He's got plans

For I know the plans I have for you," 

declares the LORD, 

"plans to prosper you 

and not to harm you, 

plans to give you hope 

and a future.

In those days when you pray, I will listen.

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Plans.  Sometimes I'm an excellent planner.  Need somebody to organize a youth camping trip complete with meals and travel arrangements?  I'm your woman.  Need somebody to lead out in drama or a youth church class?  Once again, sign me up--I've got things under control.  Need me to figure out a plan for life after small kids and passing age 35 (a little while ago)?  Errrr--um--(cue record scratch).

Oops.  I forgot to aim for 40.  It didn't seem to matter much as things seemed to be falling into place.  Until they didn't.  Important people exited from our lives, finances changed, emotional needs of my children changed, and my world got turned upside down, shaken out, and dumped off on another road.

I dusted myself off, grieved the losses, and then looked around at a strange new landscape--a little lonlier, definitely unfamiliar, and miles away from my cozy little town of Comfortable.  Not only did (and do) I not know where I was; but I had no idea where to go now--or how to get there.  And deeply burdened by guilt and shame and doubt. 

I'm learning how to dump my burden.  I have to do it every day.  Sometimes several times a day.  (Did I mention I still keep picking it back up?--I'll have to work on that.)  I'm learning that I don't have to be able to see around the next bend right now or evening know where I'm going (Abraham-style)--He'll reveal it to me when He thinks best.  

I'm learning that when the way is hidden, He's closer than ever.  

He's got plans.  I've got Him.  I'll let Him lead.

Evidently, that was His intention in the first place.  When will I ever learn.

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:1